japan and china

Always felt I was born in the wrong country.

Never felt English.

Always wanted to travel.

Always did travel.

But something happened when landing in China.

I felt at home.

The wanderlust dissolved.

Been nearly two years now.

I’m building a future.

And yet, there was one potential thorn in my plan:

Japan.

If the past lives are true, I’ve certainly spent a few there.

Its ambient minimalism touches my delicate side.

I’ve fantasised about building my retreat centre there.

Would visiting Japan derail my plan to stay in China?

My three-week trip would help me find out.

This would be an interesting moment.

Energetics

Japan is cool.

China is warm.

Japan is a tall, straight cedar tree.

China is a winding, 2,000-year old cypress.

Japan is wood.

China is earth.

Japan is clean, fresh sencha.

China is dark, rich pu-erh.

Japan is a minimal, austere shinto shrine.

China is a red and golden Taoist temple.

Japan is an angular kimono folded in a square.

China is a soft Taoist robe.

Japan invites melancholic reflection with the shakuhachi.

China plucks my heart with the twang of the guqin.

Japan is Zen meditation with immaculate posture.

China is flowing Tai Chi in the morning mist.

Japan makes things better.

China lets things be.

Japan masters external appearance.

China knows the depths.

Japan is linear.

China is circular.

Order & Cleanliness

Japan plans.

China is spontaneous.

Japan is breathtakingly surreal.

China is gloriously bonkers.

Japan takes its shoes off inside to stay clean.

China keeps its shoes on to stay warm.

In Japan, I get kicked out of the sauna for having a tattoo.

In China, I leave the sauna because people are smoking inside.

On arrival at a Japanese retreat, I receive a carefully manicured minute-by-minute schedule.

On arrival at a Kung Fu school in China, nobody tells me anything but they invite me for tea.

In Japan, going number 2 in a public loo is a 5* spa experience.

In China, I wait till I get home.

In Japan, I wait dutifully with locals at an empty crossing, waiting for the red light to turn green.

In China, I zip through red lights in front of policeman on the scooter I purchased requiring as much paperwork as buying an apple.

Japan staggers me by the high standards at which things work.

China staggers me by how things work (sort of) despite the chaos.

Quiet & Attention

Japan is polite.

China is excitable.

In Japan, I can practice in a busy temple without anyone taking videos...

Except Chinese tourists.

In Japan, when a stranger tells me I ‘look cool’,

I respond, ‘Are you Chinese?’

Of course they’re Chinese.

Japan averts its eyes to respect my boundaries.

China unabashedly tries to befriend me.

Japan executes an exquisitely timed polite laugh from the throat.

China lets out a raucous laugh from the belly.

In Japan, one in ten kids return my smiling and waving.

In China, nine in ten burst into excitement and stick their tongue out at me.

Really, so much of my happiness in China is due to the daily stream of silly interactions with kids.

In Japan, I can disappear and be nobody.

In China, everywhere I am somebody.

I find more quiet on the Tokyo metro

Than in a rural Chinese temple.

Self-Discovery

Japan transcended my positive stereotypes.

China shatters all (well, most) of my negative Western stereotypes.

Japan gives me what I wanted.

China gives me what I didn’t know I needed.

They are the two sides of my soul.

Japan: respect, discipline, organisation, high standards, cleanliness, quiet.

China: inner smile, flow, magic, laughter, ease, connection.

They show me the middle way.

Too much order and life loses its spark.

Too much chaos and life becomes a mess.

Japan is my number 1 country for everything I can describe.

Food, architecture, temples, nature, green tea, clothes.

China is number 1 for everything I cannot describe.

Despite the smoking, the spitting, the chaos...

My soul belongs in Songshan Mountain, the birthplace of Zen.

That ancient, magical energy can't be matched.

For years, I identified with my Japanese side.

And I needed it.

Helped me clean up my life and cultivate calm focus.

But lately, something has shifted.

My intensity is softening.

Unsolicited inner glow keeps creeping in.

I’m more playful and warm in interactions.

Life’s more of a playground than a dojo.

And it feels good.

I overdosed on fun when I was younger.

The pendulum had to swing.

I needed seriousness.

But now the swing is complete.

Now’s time for a middle way.

My metric for whether life is going well has changed.

Before it was whether I’d stuck to my six-hour training plan.

Now it’s whether I feel an inner smile.

And here's the good news:

For internal martial arts,

Rigid seriousness blocks the flow.

Effortless inner smile

Gives movement its magic.

So this shift is good for my practice.

This quality arises when you open to the Tao.

It cannot be forced.

It is not man-made.

So, as I sit on the plane now,

I can’t help but feel I’m returning to and not leaving

My soul’s home.

Japan will be my medicine taken twice per year

When my inner perfectionist needs to be soothed,

And when I want to stride confidently into a public bathroom.