OVERDOING IT
Some assume I emerged from the womb in full lotus with Shaolin monk discipline.
The truth? My flair for discipline comes from its opposite: my flair for intensity and impulsivity. I was born holding a metaphorical flamethrower with no 'Off' switch and no setting but maximum.
In my early days, this led to superficial success. And I won't pretend: I certainly had some fun.
But it also caused problems.
Funnelling my energy into sport, I competed in international-level rugby and elite-level powerlifting. But I was also riddled with chronic pain from injury, including a nasty jaw break.
Directing myself towards academic success, I got plenty of As before landing myself a role at a Magic Circle law firm. But my soul felt drained from running too fast on the hamster wheel.
I enjoyed hedonistic highs but discovered they were eventually outstripped by the lows.
WAKING UP
The hollowness became too much.
I could no longer ignore the question that had been pestering me for so long:
Is this it?
Surely there's more to life than oscillating between fleeting satisfaction and emptiness for a while and then dying? Come on!
I read about a guy called Siddhartha who was similarly dissatisfied, having exhausted the status quo. Turning within yielded positive results, as he gave birth to the Buddha.
I did what any private-school English boy with first world problems would do: a soul-searching mission in Asia.
Spent a couple of weeks in tech-free silence, meditating for 12 hours per day in a Thai temple.
The first week was an inner tussle.
Then, I succumbed.
'Ah, there I am.'
Inner smile and inner knowing returned. Quiet, yet electric. So alive. Instantly, the fleeting highs of yesteryears were exposed as hollow. I'd been empty, but now an inner glow had reawakened. Charging up on this inner glow would now be my life's focus.
THE CORPORATE DOJO
As fate would have it, I was on the eve of stepping into a role at Clifford Chance, a top UK law firm.
The corporate world would be my crucible for retaining stillness amidst chaos.
I experimented relentlessly, earning the moniker 'Plotter' amongst friends because of the countless hours spent strategising on the intersection of performance and peace.
I read and applied all the best self-help books. I became a personal trainer. I spent hundreds of days on retreats. I gradually grew a substantial daily practice across meditation, Qi Gong, Tai Chi and Kung Fu.
I even spent a year living in a Tibetan Buddhist centre while working on the trading floor at Goldman Sachs, where I hosted a 150-member meditation group.
It was when I met Chinese (Zen and Taoist) martial arts that I knew: this is The One.
I became fascinated by the Zen mind. Unshakeable yet gentle, disciplined yet creative and free.
Meditation, Qi Gong, Tai Chi and Kung Fu — tools to embed the energetic essence of Zen into the mind and body; or rather, to burn away everything clouding it.
It had a remarkable effect on my working life.
Half the working hours. Double the output. No work phone for three years. A handful of email checks per day. 0 overtime or missing exercise and lunch breaks. 0 missed deadlines or complaints from the 20+ people from the Sales team for whom I was handling up to 30 negotiations and who labelled me 'superman'.
I actually really liked my job.
I realised that the stress people experience in high-performing institutions is an unnecessary consequence of inhaling beliefs about the toll they must take on one's wellbeing.
As a nice bonus, my chronic pain and stress fell away.
ALL-IN
In 2020 I packed in the corporate world to go all-in.
Since then, I channeled my energy into martial and meditative arts.
Five years of waking at 4am to practice for five hours per day (combo of meditation, Qi Gong, Tai Chi and Kung Fu). I let go of social media, news, streaming, and other forms of conventional digital distraction.
I prefer to have my party on the inside these days.
95% of emotional turbulence fell away. I don't recall feeling significant stress for some years now.
I don't demand the same of my students — I'd have no business if they all shaved their heads — but I can take them a few steps in that direction.
The invisible limitations fell away, and I was able to create the life I had been fantasising about for years.
I live by Shaolin Temple, the birthplace of Zen, training in XinYiBa with Shifu Wu NanFang, an ancient Shaolin internal Kung Fu, for six hours per day while writing and coaching online.
I spent 10 months in Wudang, where I earned second place in the World Championships, became a certified teacher, trained full-time in a traditional class usually reserved for local Chinese kids, and was featured on People's Daily, China's largest TV station.
I have had the privilege of being taught by world-leading masters such as Shifu Shi Heng Yi, Shifu Wu Nanfang, Chen Geng, Shifu Yuan Xiu Gang, Shifu Chen Shiyu, Jake Pinnick, Xiao Yun, Liu Jin, Shifu Yan Lei and Iain Armstrong.
Feel free to email me at ben@benlucas.co, in particular if you want to comment how much you enjoyed my jokes.